The blessing of migraines

Am I nuts, or what?

Let me explain, and start with a little background.
I am a pretty even genetic mix of my mom and dad. My outward appearance tends towards mom's side, and the internal workings seem to be more in line with dad. One of the things dad was kind enough to pass on to me was the family legacy of migraine headaches (gee, thanks). Now, let me post an aside here and say that within the world of migraines, I am pretty lucky. Very seldom am I incapacitated - most of the time, my headaches make me miserable, but I stay functional. I am on medication to keep them to a minimum, and thanks to insurance, I have some "magic bullet" pills that zap a headache most of the time (I say thanks to insurance, because the pills cost $175.00 for nine (9) without insurance - yikes!).

Everyonce in a while, one gets through, and I hurt for the day. Up until I started on the meds two years ago, I would get one about once a month.

Now, what do I mean by "the blessing of migraines"?
This: When a headache finally leaves (usually - for me - as evening comes, or for sure by the next morning), it is a feeling I can only describe as delicious. To feel the pain that has been scraping at you all day suddenly just evaporate, or wake to find the pain is now only a memory, is such an incredibly pleasurable experience, delicious is the only word that seems to fit. I can feel my whole body release and relax. Air, light, sounds - all seem fresh and new. Energy returns to my muscles. Hope to my heart.

I only realize this through comparison, ie: compared to the misery I was in, this feels GREAT!!!
Here's the catch: I only feel this way after a migraine. Without the pain preceeding it, the pleasure is lost.

So, are migraines worth it?

I would answer "maybe". If I was still getting monthly headaches, and they were becoming more and more incapacitating, I would say "no". But, as it stands now, a migraine every now and then reminds me anew of the glorious deliciousness of not hurting.

Broaden the context, and you can see how it applies to us all - that this is the way this life is set up. We only experience things as a contrast of something else: hot vs. cold, humid vs. dry, peaceful vs. tumultuous, etc.

God has given us a world of contrasts, a body of contrasts, a soul of contrasts.

So, I can thank God for my migraines, as an opportunity lean upon Him in the midst of the pain, and as an opportunity to discover anew the deliciousness of not hurting.

Is dissatisfaction godly?

I am currently reading a book by Dan Allender, called The Healing Path. Great book! Very good insights, and seemingly well grounded in reality. Anyways, one of the points he is making is that God uses dissatisfaction to get us to move to where/what He wants of us. We humans will stay where it's comfy until we get poked enough to heave ourselves out of comfort, and into adventure.

I hope that's what is going on in my life. I have a great job, live in beautiful So. Cal., live in a great neighborhood, in a house that needs work (built in 1924), but overall is excellent . . . and I ache to get out of here!

The problem is that I am a huge chicken when it comes to this kind of thing. So I'm stuck: I want out, to a quieter, more rural life for my family, but I am also paralyzed by the fear of the unknown. And, I desperately don't want God to "urge" me out! God's urgings in things like this usually involve something that will make a great testimony later down the line ("...I came home one day to find my whole family had been sold on ebay!...")

So, for now, all I know is I want out. My prayers are for wisdom and courage as I walk this path with my family.

More on this later...

It's all about ME!

I got this from the Anchoress, and decided to do it myself.
Please do the same, and link in the comments section!

A is for Age - 44
B is for Booze - Don't like it enough to bother.
C is for Career - Husband, Dadddy and Community College Professor
D is for Dad’s name - Gerry
E is for Essential items to bring to a party - My wife, so I have at least one person to talk to.
F is for Favorite song at the moment - Anything by Bob Bennett (www.bob-bennett.com)
G is for Goof off thing to do - Drive: Far and fast. Or, read: novels. Better yet: both!
H is for Hometown - Whittier, Calif.
I is for Instrument you play - Guitar
J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Pineapple-Apricot
K is for Kids - Four boys (7 and under)
L is for Living arrangement - One story, three bedroom, 1 bath (getting a bit tight on space)
M is for Mom’s name - Marian
N is for Names of best friends - Doug, Jay, Alan, Pat - these are the guys I could call at 3 am, and they would be there for me.
O is for overnight hospital stays - One. I was about 5 years old, and had pneumonia. I also stayed with wifey-poo when our kids were born, but those were her stays, not mine.
P is for Phobias - gooey, slimy animals: If I fell into a pit of sea slugs, I would rather die than live with the memory of doing that.
Q is for Quote you like - "You know what the problem with life is? Boredom! You know what the solution is? ADVENTURE!!" - from the movie Never Cry Wolf
R is for Relationship that lasted longest - My best friend Doug - since high school (1976).
S is for Siblings - Two sisters and one brother
T is for Texas, ever been? - Yes. Even slept on the beach in Galveston once. A long time ago, in a life far, far away...
U is for Unique trait - I am the world's BEST parallel parker...really.
V if for Vegetable you love - What else? Garlic!!
W is for Worst trait - I wait til just past the last minute to do things.
X - is for XRays you’ve had - teeth, head, chest
Y is for Yummy food you make - I married a girl from the South...I don't have to cook!
Z is for Zodiac sign - The only star that has made a lasting impact on me is the one over Bethlehem 2000 years ago.

It's all worth it

I have no idea who reads these postings, but if you do, check out the comments and back-and-forth postings below between myself and AuntieJeanne. This is the reason I'm here.

They'll Know We Are Christians by Our...what?

The semester is almost over.
I teach at a local Community College (a great job I don't deserve - note to self: post in the future on your job, file under "cushy"), and I am often struck by a surprising aspect of my job: as a Christian, it is stunningly easy to be a light in a dark place.

I always thought I would love to teach at a Christian college/university - what better place to live out your faith than surrounded by fellow believers? I did teach for one year at one, and it wasn't a very good fit (more on that later, maybe).
On the heels of that, I got my current job, and have basked in the glorious job that is Community College teaching.

It is a "secular" campus, filled to the brim with "heathens" adorned with piercings, tattoos, and every now and then, some clothes. Lots of international students - mostly from asia. And finally, the campus is crawling with tenured faculty who can't get fired unless they eat one of their students.

What this all adds up to is a place where the sins of pride, arrogance, apathy and the like abound. And, because of this, I have found that if you just treat people with what I would call basic decency, it is often seen as astounding kindness.

Example:
I teach graphic design, and during "critiques" - a public analysis and evaluation of student projects - I will not berate or degrade or belittle a student. I will not at any time intentionally humiliate a student (in public or private).

What I find is that these kinds of "basic decencies" stand out and are noticed. And with some, questions start to be asked: Why is he different? What makes him tick? etc.

Do these students know I am a Christian by my theology? my doctrine? even by my faith? No.

They know I am a Christian by my love.